A Little Less Ignorance

Today I am officially a week into taking Cerazette. It has definitely not been an easy ride. I felt a dip in my mood from the first day I took this pill (it works straight away so that might explain the fast effects). I went into this with an open mind. I didn’t go in thinking ‘this isn’t going to work’ or even ‘this will work’. I remained neutral and decided to just see what happened.

I know my own body. I feel when my moods change. And for me, when my moods change like this, it’s like any other physical reaction. It isn’t something I have a lot of control over. All the positive thought in the world won’t rid you of the flu any faster, after all. And it’s the same for me with my conditions.

I’m going to continue with this pill and give it at least a month.

So far things aren’t feeling completely great. I don’t feel I can be 100% happy. I feel like there’s a physical feeling of sadness underneath that is always there no matter how positive my thoughts or intentions may be.

And the worst part is the lack of understanding from other people right now.

That is what brings me to write this entry. I’m a member of several PMDD groups on Facebook and one very common theme in all groups is frustration at the lack of consideration, care, concern or understanding from other people toward that condition.

I feel it is the same for any menstrual condition, personally. I’ve got my physical ailments, my PCOS, PMDD and Dysmenorrhea. And I have the mental side effects of those conditions. Technically my conditions are physical but they produce mental symptoms if you will so I understand things from both sides. Regardless, I’ve found it doesn’t matter if I am suffering with my PCOS or my PMDD, generally most people think I am just a big baby who needs to ‘get over it’. Ironic since I’m an extremely strong minded, proactive person.

People seem to forget my good qualities the minute I start suffering in favour of belittling or making accusations toward me about the result of my conditions. And I know I’m not the only person with a menstrual disorder that suffers this attitude from others. That makes me feel very disappointed in humanity to be completely truthful. Why are menstrual disorders not taken seriously?

Society’s attitude is ‘take a pill and shut up’. Society’s belief is that if you’re not taking all kinds of meds you’re not helping yourself regardless of whether a type of medication works for you or not. If you dare speak up and say a medication isn’t working for you then blow you, you’re a whiney cry baby who can’t stick it out.

Which, of course, is complete bullshit.

This pill is already having a bad effect on my moods but I know if I don’t keep taking it for long enough – til the timeframe meets the approval of others’ expectations anyway – I’ll get accused of not ‘giving it a chance’ and oh there’s that cute little ‘you’re not helping yourself’ ditty again. I do want to give it a chance, I do want to wait and see if things improve. I’m well aware of how my body reacts to birth control pills (since I’ve tried so many of them for months at a time in the past) and I know things could potentially get much worse for me but I’m willing to give it a shot anyway. Would I really do that if I was ‘not helping’ myself? No. Hell no.

I really wish my problems were all in my head. I really wish it was one big, daft excuse. I wish I was just an attention seeker. That would mean I could make my own personal sufferings disappear right away. I wouldn’t have to go through so many mood changes every month. I wouldn’t be in so much physical pain or throwing up anymore. I wouldn’t have to fight my battles every damn day against ignorant people. The latter would be the nicest factor for me, actually.

Support a woman who has a menstrual disorder. It’s not something she asked for. Not something she is doing for fun or attention. Not something she enjoys.

For those who suffer – I am so sorry. Please know that you’re not making this up despite the fact that many people probably make you feel like you are. This is very real and your condition/s deserve all the recognition in the world. You’re not alone.

She needs your support and your care. She needs your understanding. No, she is not a perfect angel, none of us are, but a little less ignorance goes a very long way.

Cerazette

I was prescribed this mini pill by my doctor during my appointment in March earlier this year.

For those who don’t know, I suffer with PCOS and severe dysmenorrhea. I get severe pain with my periods and I can often vomit for hours as a result of that pain each month when my period begins. I also have PMDD. Or Pre Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder. Most combined birth control pills I have attempted to take for my painful periods/pcos have affected my PMDD symptoms very badly. This left me unwilling/unable to take combined birth control pills.

Cerazette was recommended to me by my doctor. I will be taking my Fluoxetine alongside it daily from here on for the next month.

And this is where I’ll also be blogging about my experience with Cerazette.  I’m taking it for a month. There is a very long story as to why I’m only taking it for 1 month. I was supposed to be taking it for 3 months before my next appointment but life commitments meant I was unable to. I knew taking the birth control presented a risk of my moods being affected and I had lots of university work as well as presentations to do, so I chose to wait until my course was over so that nothing would interfere with me progressing on the course or eventually passing it. I wanted, for once, to think of myself on that one. I didn’t want another year added to my education because I lost time due to my health conditions.

I’d like to blog about how I feel frequently throughout my time taking this mini pill. I had a lengthy discussion with my doctor regarding possible side effects and I decided to give birth control pills one last try before I consider more serious options to help my painful periods.

I feel good as of today, my first day taking this new pill. But that is to be expected. I haven’t been taking it long enough just yet to see if I will get along with it.

I am considerably worried to be perfectly honest. Despite having Fluoxetine to help with my moods I am terrified I will slip into depression as I did last time I took birth control pills.

So for now, I’m doing the only thing I can and just being brave about this. I want to help my painful periods and this is an ideal way to do that so I really, really hope this works out.

Keep Going

Last year I had an ultrasound pelvic scan. I have suffered with severe primary Dysmenorrhea since my monthly cycle began. I also have PMDD. Otherwise known as Pre Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder.

More information on Dysmenorrhea here: http://www.webmd.com/women/menstrual-cramps

More information on PMDD here: http://us.napmdd.org/

I have tried every possible treatment for my Dysmenorrhea including birth control pills and very strong painkillers but nothing worked. I’d still suffer with extreme pain, sickness and vomiting every month. The pain lasts for hours and often results in vomiting for that same amount of time too.

If you have previously read my blog, you’ll know I have been treating my PMDD with Fluoxetine. That continues to work well for me now which relieves me to no end!

The purpose of the scan was to investigate possible causes of my Dysmenorrhea. Prior to this for many years I was told I did not have Endometriosis (with this condition you suffer pain continuously, but mine lasts about 2 days before it subsides). And I was also informed that in order to be diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome I would need to have a number of symptoms. The ones listed to me were symptoms I did not have.

So the lack of answers amongst my endless hospital appointments, nightly emergency trips and a lot of frustration did not exactly help.

After a few weeks I noticed the hospital had not contacted me regarding my scan results. So I decided to call them and enquire. I was informed the results were ‘too complicated’ to discuss over phone or in a letter and that I’d need to wait 6 months for my next appointment to discuss them.

When my appointment date arrived yesterday I was eager for at least some form of an explanation. Quite promptly into the appointment I was informed that the scan results showed I had Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. After explaining that I had previously been told I did not have this and why, the doctor informed me that some women have all the symptoms, some have few and some have none at all. Which nobody told me. And my doctor could not explain why other doctors had not mentioned this to me either. I do not personally blame her for other doctor’s lack of knowledge, understanding or misinforming me at all.

I was also told the scan showed I had a ‘dimpled’ uterus. Meaning my uterus is apparently very slightly heart shaped. This should only be of importance if I ever have surgery (doctors would just need to be made aware of it) and it could make delivering a baby a bit more difficult for me but otherwise it isn’t the cause of my pain/sickness, nor is it related to my Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.

As far as my PCOS is concerned, I can help myself by keeping my weight in check. Which I already do. I’ll also be required to check my blood sugar yearly.

And for now, I am trying a new tablet to help my Dysmenorrhea (I apologise, I am useless at remembering the complicated names of some types of medication so I’m unsure what my medication is called).

After that I will also be trying a new mini birth control pill. Birth control has never been a possible option because I have PMDD and it generally greatly interferes with that, making my debilitating symptoms a lot worse. Many PMDD sufferers find that the pill doesn’t help them. But this pill consists of only 1 hormone instead of 2. According to my doctor, it shouldn’t affect my mood and if it does, I can stop taking it.

I will still be taking my Fluoxtine two weeks per month as usual alongside this.

I am quite nervous about the birth control route since it has previously always ended in complete disaster for me. Not only that but all birth control pills contain lactose and I am lactose intolerant. I have previously had to stop taking birth control simply because they affected my PMDD and my lactose intolerance too much. They only contain a small amount but apparently that’s enough to affect me.

However I’ll still give the new pill a try. I’m desperate to have my life back and get shot of the pain and vomiting. Having suffered with it since I was 13, I’m finding myself more eager than ever to reach a solution. My period problems unfortunately run my life.

It is difficult when you are continuously mis-informed or mis-diagnosed. That is why I wanted to write this entry. For anyone in my situation, please, keep pushing for answers. It took me over 10 years to find mine but I got them because I kept pushing. I demanded they re-investigate my problems and that is the reason I got the answers I have now.

I understand you shouldn’t have to push, but unfortunately that is often the only way to get the help and answers you need.

Stay strong. You are absolutely not alone.

For any further emotional support, please feel free to join my private, female only facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/2376044883/?ref=bookmarks

Update After 9 Months

Hello everyone!

Long time no see! But here I am to update you 9 months into taking Fluoxetine. My last update finished at the 6 month point.

So how are things three months on? I still take it every 2 weeks before my period.

And fluoxetine still works wonders for me. I had one month where my period was late (I have severe primary dysmenorrhea so my periods can be irregular) so I stopped taking the meds for just under a week (I thought my period would be arriving any day soon but it didn’t, hence why I went up to almost a week prior to my period arriving without it). That is the worst I have felt since taking my new medication. I was a bit of an emotional mess to say the least. HOWEVER I’ve decided that in future I am going to continue taking it until my period physically arrives to avoid this. It was slightly embarrassing crying in the stock room at work after all…

I did have a temporary christmas job but unfortunately lost it due to my dysmenorrhea. I had too many days off and because they were overstaffed I was the first to go. It really sucks and it makes me feel disheartened about my future career.

My pmdd itself is managable 98% of the time but my dysmenorrhea? Not so much. The only treatment I’m able to continue with is strong painkillers (I won’t get into all of the reasons here because it would literally take up 5 pages). And they don’t really work too great. It is incredibly frustrating on that end because I am not the kind of person who likes not working.

Aside from those factors my new meds are working very well for me. I get maybe one or two bad days now and they aren’t nearly as bad as they once were.

I feel like I have most of my life back and it has made such a difference. I haven’t gained weight at all on this medication either for anyone interested in that. Side effects have been very limited. I get tired now and again and sometimes sleeping is a bit difficult. But generally I am doing very well.

I hope you are all doing good. And I hope you’re all looking forward to the holidays.

Remember there is ALWAYS support at any time if you need it.

Just visit some of the links below

My FB Group (It is a CLOSED and PRIVATE group so nobody on your feed will see your posts. You have to request to join but I accept all women!):

https://www.facebook.com/groups/2376044883/

Then there is NAPDD. This group is factual based and there’s lots of information as well as a website to join with support forums.

https://www.facebook.com/NAPMDD?fref=nf

NAPDD Website

http://napmdd.org/

I know PMDD makes you feel trapped and hopeless. I know it’s frightening. I know it’s a burden. But you’re not alone. There’s always someone on the groups and website ready to give you support.

So if you’re finding it tough over the holidays please feel free to reach out on the fb groups. I’m always on my own personal group and many other ladies on the groups are very welcoming and kind.

Thanks for reading!

Fluoxetine – 6 Month Update

It has been some time since I have written here. But today I am here to update you on how I am doing 6 months into taking Fluoxetine.

Things are much the same as when I updated last. Though I definitely wanted to note some things I have noticed during the past few months.

When taking Fluoxetine for only two weeks a month for PMDD it is important to be aware that you will probably suffer withdrawal symptoms in between doses. For me these withdrawal symptoms have been mild and very easy to deal with. Do not be put off if at first your symptoms feel worse. This is normal for the first few months taking this type of medication and ESPECIALLY when taking it two weeks at a time. Do NOT stop taking your medication cold turkey! EVER. This is because your withdrawal symptoms or your original symptoms can worsen considerably by suddenly stopping your medication. ALWAYS consult your doctor before switching medication or lowering your dosage.

Of course I have difficult days. But now I get probably a few days where I feel a little rough as opposed to 2 solid weeks! My down days are not anywhere near as bad as they once were. A huge improvement for sure.

I feel like  I can actually function and I feel my life has improved so much as a result. I am so grateful that I have this medication and the thought of ever being off it truly scares me.

I have not gained any weight (despite the myths thrown around about gaining weight on this type of medication. Sure, some people DO gain when taking this type of medicine. But that is often because they get better and therefore eat more. Weight gain is very rare when taking this type of medicine.) and my monthly cycle is still a little shorter.

I suffer with severe primary dysmenorrhea so I’ve found that having the shorter cycle has helped a little bit. It has not and will not take the problem away but I am grateful for the little help this has provided all the same!

Overall my life is just nowhere near as awful as it used to be before I started this new medication. Taking it has been one of the best decisions I have ever made!

 

 

Fluoxetine – 4 Months + Update

 

Hello everyone,

I cover many topics in this entry so for your convenience I have titled each section. That way you can skip to the one you’re interested in reading should you not wish to read a particular section.

Life

I am sincerely sorry for the lack of entries. I was extremely busy the past couple of weeks finishing college and gaining my diploma. Now I am an extra qualified make up artist! Yay! (I was qualified to do regular make up before as a fully trained esthetician but spent my year learning how to do special-fx make up amongst many other types.)

Gynecologist Appointment / Dysmenorrhea and General Health

I had my appointment with the gynecologist within those past couple of weeks also. I am sincerely pleased to report that the appointment went very well. The gynecologist was extremely open-minded, understanding and made me feel completely at ease. He was willing to listen and respond to any questions I had.

For those who don’t know I will provide a very brief explanation. The gynecologist I saw at my appointment confirmed that I do not have endometriosis or polycystic ovary syndrome. He went through my symptoms with me and determined I have Primary Dysmenorrhea. That means my periods are heavy and painful.

Since my periods began they have been heavy and painful. The pain often lasts for hours and causes me to vomit for many hours on end. I end up bed ridden for at least two or three days.

I also have PMDD. Pre Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder. Hormonal treatments interact with my PMDD making them impossible for me to use. So unfortunately the only treatments I am able to try are non-hormonal methods.

During my most recent appointment with my gynecologist he allowed me to try taking two different types of medication again. I apologise but I do not know the name of one of them and am unable to look it up currently. But the other type is one I have tried before – Mefenamic Acid.

I have only used this medication for my last period so far and I was suffering heavily with an upset stomach at the time so I don’t feel the medication had much of a chance to work. I believe this medication can cause stomach upsets so I am unsure if it was the medication causing the problems or just my periods. I often get an upset stomach during my period so I will presume it’s the latter for now. If it persists next month I will have to stop taking it and then try the other the next month following.

I am seeing the gynecologist again in around 3 months’ time and we will go from there.

So that is where I am as far as my Dysmenorrhea goes.

Fluxoetine – 4 Months

As far as Fluoxetine and my PMDD goes…I am doing just fantastic. No more exhausting mood swings. No more crying, no more anger, no more excessive suicidal thinking. It’s all just significantly cleared up.

It makes my heart ache to think just how bad things were for me before I began this medication and how much I was struggling.

I also believe that my periods are more regular as  a result of taking this medication. When you are physically and emotionally stressed – and this happens significantly to me during my PMDD time – it affects your menstrual cycle. This is of course common knowledge. So I definitely believe that my mood being balanced out has really helped my cycle. Even though it is still heavy and painful it is much more regular now. And I even have times where the pain is more ‘spread out’ for the week of my cycle rather than intensely for 1-2 days. Though it is still debilitating I have found that it is ever so slightly more manageable as a result.

I am hoping my dysmenorrhea lessens as I get older because aside from the medication I am taking at the moment I have very limited options left. 😦

Otherwise I am looking at this as positively as I can and I won’t ever stop putting up a good fight against it all 😉

I will update next as soon as I have more to report. In the meantime if you’d like to follow me you can do so via the following links:

http://www.twitter.com/pinksparklestar

http://www.instagram.com/sparklestarcupcake

If you are a fellow pms, pmt or pmdd sufferer (or if you just want to discuss menstrual cycle issues of any kind!) you are more than welcome to join my group on facebook. You will need to request to join but so long as you’re female you will be accepted. I accept join requests fairly quickly. It is a private group and nobody can see your posts except the members of the group.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/2376044883/

Have a great day!

Fluoxetine – Post 3 Month Update

I am nearing my fourth month of treatment on Fluoxetine and decided to update you all on how I am doing at this point in time.

In the most recent few days my emotions have been a little bit turbulent. Not immensely so, just slightly. And thankfully it was nothing I couldn’t pull myself through.

I have also noticed I have gained a very small amount of weight. Between 1 and 2 pounds. I don’t think the gain has anything to do with my medication though. Antidepressants can cause weight gain but it’s very rare and the weight gain itself is usually minor. Most people believe they’ve gained because of the medication when in fact, they’ve just got better and their appetite is at a healthy level again. Or they just feel better and are eating more because they feel less bothered about the amount of food they take in. I am certainly not suggesting this applies to every single person taking these types of medications but for most I think it’s true.

For me, I believe the weight has come on through being inactive the past few weeks when I was off college. I am not overly bothered about this gain because I feel I actually needed to gain those few pounds. However I do need to keep monitoring my weight due to another health condition I have (dysmenorrhea). If I gain too much my periods become even more painful (also carrying extra weight creates other symptoms for me to say the least) so I do need to make sure I’m always at a healthy weight.

My menstrual cycle is also considerably shorter now. It used to be 30+ days but in the past three months exactly it has been around 24-27 days. This is probably normal but I’m considering bringing it up with my doctor. Once I do, of course, I will report back to you on it.

Other than that I’m feeling great and doing great.

Anyway, I must end here unfortunately as I have a few errands to run before I go to bed. College has been very hectic lately but I’m finishing in three weeks! (Can hardly believe it!)

Hope you are all well.

Fluoxetine – Month 3 – Summary

Hi everyone

So I have finished my course of fluoxetine for the third month and I got my period today. So I figured it would be a good time to summarise my experiences with this medicine so far.

I have noticed some very mild side effects during my third month. Mainly waking up early and yawning frequently (I presume that’s a result of the off-set sleep pattern). A very small price to pay though for having a very good mood!

However the early wake ups are still a smidge problematic and if they don’t go away after next month (maybe the month after…it does take time to adjust to this kind of medication after all) then I will talk to my doctor. I do intend to ask about this symptom in the meantime and see if there is anything I can do about it. I have heard that taking fluoxetine at night can cause this (which is when I’ve taken it due to not having time in the day) so if that’s the case (I’ll ask my doctor about this) I will switch to another time.

Otherwise mentally I feel fantastic.

However today things were not so good for me physically. I had a very rough day. Since I got my period my dysmenorrhea flared up badly and I was very ill. I’m feeling okay now and I’ll be fine by tomorrow but it has not been easy and I feel very sick.

Anyway, I’m going to go attempt to have dinner and I’m hoping that will make me feel better.

I’ll update soon!

Fluoxetine – Month 3 – Day 11

Hi everyone

So today has not been a great day. Aside from not being so well physically I’ve just felt quite down.

Some of my mood can be linked to outside influences right now and the rest, I feel, is a little bit of my pmdd peeking through my medication.

Fortunately on that side of things my mood is nowhere near as awful as it would ordinarily be right now. I know I repeat this often but I feel it’s necessary to inform those who don’t already know and to let you know that I recognise things were or could be much worse. And that I am very grateful for that.

As for the outside influences. One of those is not being able to go to London MCM Comic Con as I do every time this year. I’m going in October (I hope!) and many of my friends aren’t there either right now but I still miss it terribly and I’m still upset I’m not there.

Anyway, I’m not going to get into everything else right now because I’d just like to go to bed. I hope tomorrow is better.

Fluoxetine – Month 3 – Day 10

Hi everyone

Today’s been good in the sense that my indigestion problem has cleared and eating is no longer painful at all.

But it’s also been a bit of a strain. I’m feeling my pmdd peeking through again.

My period’s due soon and I’m extra hungry so I’ve just been eating constantly all day. I’m also feeling a bit down in general. This is nothing on what I usually experience so I’m grateful for that much. But at the same time it is not proving very easy at the moment.

I did start the day feeling semi-productive but since the day’s gone on I’ve just kinda sunk and now all I want to do is go to bed.

As it stands I have some cramps coming on so I’m not sure I’ll make it into college tomorrow. But right now I just need my bed.